the reason you find little cuts and bruises you don’t remember getting is because at night bats fly in your room and beat you up in your sleep
me losing my virginity
Hey, remember that one time on Phineas and Ferb when Doofenshmirtz’s daughter and her friends (who were all allergic to bee stings) were almost attacked by bees?
But then Doof jumped in the way screaming “YOU LEAVE MY BABY GIRL ALONE!!”
And then proceeded to
pour honey all over himself
to lead the bees away
and jumped into a river? All to protect his daughter?
A+ dad right there.